


Hurry Up and Wait

by bactaqueen



Category: Captain America (Comics)
Genre: Anal Sex, Barebacking, Bucky Barnes is a Virgin, Comfort Sex, Confessions of love, Fellatio, First Time, First Time Together, M/M, Reunion Sex, Rimming, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 11:14:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3288275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bactaqueen/pseuds/bactaqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky deserves to be shown just how much he’s wanted and loved. Steve’s the man for the job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Paraxdisepink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paraxdisepink/gifts).



> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Recognizable characters belong to their respective owners. No profit is earned and no infringement is intended.
> 
> Author’s Note: For paraxdisepink, who wrote [Warmth](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2729648) for my birthday exchange and asked for “616 wartime Bucky/Steve first time.” I hope you like it!

Bucky was sprawled naked across the featherbed when Steve came out of the ensuite. He was like a cat stretched in the sun, his eyes closed and a half-smile on his face. His concave belly rose and fell a little with each deep breath. For a moment, Steve thought he was sleeping. So he stood in the doorway and stared. He'd gotten used to seeing Bucky enjoy himself where he could. At least one of them remembered to do that. But it had been so long since he'd seen a smile on Bucky's clean face that he'd almost forgotten how handsome he was.

Then Bucky's smile changed to a smirk and Steve realized he was awake and knew Steve was looking at him. He scowled.

"At least put some shorts on."

Bucky grabbed himself lewdly and thrust his hips up. "Nope."

Steve rolled his eyes. He hitched the threadbare towel around his hips a little higher, self-conscious of his own nudity. "No respect for your bunkmate," he grumbled. "No wonder Toro didn't want this mission."

Bucky laughed.

Steve dropped his towel and fished his last clean pair of briefs from his rucksack. He tugged them on and thought about putting on pants, too, but they were all filthy and Bucky probably had the right idea, anyway.

Bucky sighed loudly. "It's not fair."

Steve made his way to the bed and shoved at Bucky's feet until he shifted, his head at the foot and his feet propped on one of the feather pillows. Steve stretched out on his half of the bed, propping himself up on the other pillow and crossing his ankles by Bucky's head. He rested his hands on his belly and tipped his face up. The sun felt good and the air through the window smelled fresh and sweet with the first hints of spring. He could almost forget why they were here.

"What's not fair?"

"There's a house full of beautiful women on the other side of that door and I'm stuck in here with _you_. At least you don't stink anymore."

Steve snorted. "I'm just as glad you took a bath, too." He stretched a little more and wriggled into a more comfortable position. He closed his eyes. "They're risking a lot letting us wait here, wouldn't be right for us to... You know."

"Ever been with a woman like that?" Bucky asked quietly.

"No."

"Why not?" 

Steve just shrugged. He didn't necessarily agree with a fella's choice to use a lady like that, but he understood the why. The women he understood better. You did what you had to do to get by. You did what you had to do to fight. 

Bucky chuckled. "Prefer those lady agents, huh?" 

Steve nudged at him with a knee. "Them and the mouthy underage assassins." 

"I'm not underage anymore, remember? I could officially enlist, even." He laughed at himself. 

Steve just smiled. 

A shadow seemed to fall over the room as Bucky fell silent. He shifted on the bed, as if he was suddenly uncomfortable and couldn't find a good spot. 

"Some of those girls aren't French." 

Steve grunted assent. He was starting to think he might even be able to nap, and that felt like an absolute luxury. 

"Couple of Germans," Bucky said softly. 

Bucky knew better than almost anyone what the Nazis had done to their own people, knew and had fought beside Germans he would have died for just the same as any American or Brit. Steve opened his eyes and started to defend them, to remind Bucky what he knew, but when he looked across at him, the words stuck in his throat. He knew what was wrong. 

Bucky set his jaw and shook his head. "Forget it." 

But he couldn't. He couldn't just ignore what Bucky wasn't saying. "I'm sure she's fine, Buck," he said quietly. 

Bucky scowled. "Shut up, Steve." He rolled to his side and he curled up like the kid he really was still. He pillowed his head on his arm and pulled his knees up and hugged himself one-armed. It was almost fetal. 

Steve stared at him, feeling clumsy and helpless. He reached out, reconsidered, and left his hand hovering awkwardly in the air over Bucky's ankle. 

"She'll be all right." 

"I don't want to talk about this." 

"I know." Steve gave in to impulse and rested his hand on Bucky's ankle. The touch was electric, even as innocent as it was--touching Bucky always felt like touching a live wire. He had to swallow past the lump in his throat and push past the ache in the middle of his chest that always seemed to happen whenever he was faced with how much he loved this kid. _Not kid_ , he reminded himself. Bucky wasn't a kid any more than he was. He tried to lighten the mood with, "What _do_ you want to talk about?" 

Bucky grunted. "Just seems unfair, is all. House of negotiable affections and I can't even negotiate for your affection." 

Steve groaned and jerked his hand away. " _Bucky_." He didn't know where he came up with some of this stuff, and why it was always so bad. "I hope you have better lines for Gretchen." 

Bucky rolled to his back again and glared at Steve. "Are you crazy? I got _way_ better lines for pretty girls." He kicked at Steve's elbow. "You don't deserve my best stuff." 

Steve laughed. "Yeah, right. Bucky Barnes, making all the girls swoon." 

"Damn right. One of us has to." He met Steve's eyes. "No girls here now, though." 

The room got suddenly too hot. "No," Steve agreed. 

Bucky's tongue slipped out to wet his lips. "We got the whole afternoon all to ourselves." 

The air left his lungs and he felt a little light-headed. He started, "Buck--" 

" _A whole afternoon_ ," Bucky repeated. "No one's gonna bother us. It's just you and me." 

Steve sucked in a deep breath. Truth was, he was sick to death of saying no. He was sick of treading that too-thin line between what he felt for Bucky and what he thought he was allowed to feel. War was hard and being alone was harder and Bucky was always right there, the only one who didn't seem to see Captain America, the only one who saw Steve Rogers and seemed to care about him. Steve would catch himself looking at Bucky, or thinking about him when they were apart, and he'd feel like such an ass for wanting more, even if Bucky was offering it. He kept telling himself it was wrong. It was, wasn't it? It had been so much easier in the beginning to see Bucky as his responsibility, but the last two years had changed everything, and now even if he was technically in charge, Bucky was his partner, the one he relied on the most. Without Bucky, Steve knew he might not be alive. He might have given up. He definitely wouldn't be stretched out on a featherbed in a French brothel with the freedom of a whole day to himself and the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen promising to make it a _good_ day. 

Bucky's eyes went wide. "Holy _shit_ you're actually thinking about it." 

Steve scowled. "Don't ruin it, jeez." 

"Nope." 

Bucky sat up and carefully tucked his legs beneath himself so he knelt on the bed at Steve's hip. Tentatively, he laid a hand on Steve's stomach, and when Steve didn't stop him, he leaned over. He stopped halfway. And he waited, cautious hope in his eyes. 

To hell with it all. Steve met him halfway. He reached up, cupping the back of Bucky's head, and he surged up into the kiss. Their first kiss, an electric meeting of lips that made Steve whimper and made Bucky gasp. 

Steve pulled him down and turned and pinned Bucky to the bed beneath him before Bucky could take control. They were kissing again, slow and sweet, sliding lips and sweeping tongues. Steve pushed his fingers through Bucky's hair and didn't even think about how he needed a haircut--he just liked the feel of the soft length between his fingers and the way Bucky sucked at his tongue when he tugged. Bucky spread his thighs and lifted his knees to frame Steve's waist. The sun warmed his back and Bucky seemed burning hot under him, and it was so nice after the cold of the winter that he groaned into Bucky's mouth. 

Bucky ran his fingers through Steve's hair and down his back. He dug the tips of his fingers into the meat under Steve's shoulder blades and arched his neck to take a long, deep breath. 

Steve kissed his throat and the hollow of his neck. He didn't open his eyes, too scared this was some wonderful dream and when he woke up it would be cold and alone in a dirty tent on the front lines. He started to work down, sucking red little marks into sweet skin. 

Bucky's grip tightened. "Hang on, Steve. What--" 

Steve licked along the length of his collarbone. Bucky tasted like soap and skin and smelled like warmth and sunshine and he wanted everything. 

"Let me," he said, all he could manage. 

Bucky chuckled. "Don't know what you want, pal, that's the problem." 

Steve pushed up to kiss Bucky's smiling mouth again. "Is there something I can't have?" 

Bucky ran his fingers through Steve's hair and got a handful, held him in place so he could talk to him. "It's just I've been thinking about this for years and this ain't exactly the way I thought it would go." 

Yeah, Steve had a pretty good idea how Bucky thought it would go. He'd entertained those fantasies himself. But right then, those fantasies didn't matter as much as showing Bucky how much Steve wanted him. How much he loved him. He might never say the words, but he could show them in deed. Steve kissed him again and slid their erections together. 

Bucky laughed like he couldn't believe it and tipped his head back. "Jesus, Steve." 

"Language," Steve warned. He brushed a kiss to the angle of Bucky's jaw before he scraped his teeth over the curve of his neck. 

Bucky ran his hands down Steve's back. "All right, you can go first." 

Steve smiled and licked at the hollow of Bucky's throat. "Thanks, buddy." 

Bucky laughed again. 

Steve worked his way down. He held Bucky's sides and kissed and licked and bit all over his chest and belly, rubbed his face against the soft warm skin over his breastbone and above his navel. He even bit at one of Bucky's nipples, but Bucky gasped and twitched away. Steve kissed at the edge of the dark areola in apology. 

"Too much?" 

Bucky grunted, a little embarrassed, a little annoyed, and--if the twitch of his cock against Steve's belly was any indication--a little hotter than he wanted to be. "Ain't a girl, Steve." 

Steve slid one hand between their bodies to grasp Bucky's erection. "Yeah. I know." 

Bucky moaned low. He pushed his fingers through Steve's hair restlessly and rocked his hips. Steve shut his eyes and leaned into Bucky's touch as he stroked Bucky's cock. He peppered soft sucking kisses across Bucky's belly. 

God, he'd thought about this so many times in the last year. Thought about stretching Bucky out beneath him and showing him how much he loved him, how much he wanted him, how much he appreciated what a steady strong presence he was in his life. But he'd had to be so careful. The last thing he wanted was to be another adult taking advantage of Bucky. He wanted to _matter_. He wanted Bucky to know _he_ mattered. This now made him feel dizzy. He had Bucky right where he wanted him most and had all the time he needed to do what he wanted. 

Steve scraped his teeth along Bucky's hipbone. He nuzzled in close to Bucky's cock and turned his face to rub his lips against the base of it. Bucky gasped, his fingers going tight in Steve's hair. 

"Steve--" 

"Shh." Steve lifted his head and closed his lips around the fat crown of Bucky's pretty dick, swirling his tongue around it and sucking. 

Bucky arched clear off the bed. "Oh!" 

Steve relaxed his throat and sucked him down completely. Eyes closed tight, lips stretched and wet, he lingered, building up a good rhythm and a whole lot of spit. He slid his hands down to hold Bucky's thighs, the firm muscles there tense under his fingers. He eased his legs apart, slowly, and started sliding one set of fingers up up the inside of one warm thigh. 

Bucky hissed, "Yes!" when the tips of Steve's fingers brushed his hole. 

There was a nightstand beside the bed and Steve knew the little drawer was full of condoms and Vaseline because this was one of the Army-approved brothels. He started to reach for the jelly when he remembered something Namor had mentioned, something he'd since dreamed of doing with Bucky more than once. 

Vaseline later. This first. 

Just not yet. Not until after he'd gotten his fill of the weight of Bucky's cock on his tongue, of the feel and flavor of him. Steve gripped Bucky's thighs and held them open, bobbing his head, sucking on the upstroke and licking his way back down. He pulled off to kiss all up and down the shaft of Bucky's erection, to dip his head and nuzzle at his balls, to suck one and the other and to lick at them. Bucky twisted tough fingers in Steve's hair and he panted and gasped and squirmed. Steve went back to sucking him, slow and easy. He fell into a rhythm that blocked everything else out. 

He could stay here forever. He'd be happy to. 

Bucky keened and pulled at his ears. "Steve-- Stop, I'm gonna--" 

Steve moaned. He thought about keeping on, letting Bucky spill hot down his throat and then sliding up his body and wrapping around him and holding him close for as long as he let him. But then it would be over, and he didn't want this to end. He released Bucky's cock nice and slow. He slid up Bucky's body and he kissed him. 

Bucky broke the kiss, moaning and tossing his head back. He squeezed Steve's sides and swore. 

Steve bit along his jaw. "Watch your mouth." 

"Christ, I'd rather watch yours." 

Steve choked on a laugh and kissed him again. 

Bucky pushed his fingers through Steve's hair and bit his bottom lip. "You gonna let me have a turn?" 

Steve kissed him one more time. He couldn't get enough of Bucky's mouth. "Maybe later." He pushed a hand between Bucky and the bed and kneaded his ass. "Wanna roll over for me?" 

"I thought you'd never fucking ask." 

Steve shoved up to give Bucky room to move and Bucky settled himself facedown in the center of the bed, legs spread. Acres of warm skin made Steve's heart ache and his cock throb. He ran a hand up Bucky's back and back down so he could squeeze a handful of his perfect ass. 

Bucky looked at him over his shoulder and smirked. He brought his knees up, just a little, and wiggled his ass. "Come on, Cap. Aren't you the man with all the plans?" 

"I should have thought this through," Steve groaned. 

"You didn't? It's all I've been thinking about for years." 

Steve's gut clenched. He braced a hand in the bed and leaned down to kiss Bucky's cheek. "Got any requests?" 

"What, like a menu?" Bucky laughed. "Just make me come, I don't care how you do it." 

He closed his eyes and nuzzled Bucky's neck and kissed his shoulder. "Nothing in particular you like?" He pressed slow, wet kisses across the top of Bucky's back. 

Bucky tensed. "Um..." 

"Hmm?" Steve planted a kiss right on his spine, between his shoulderblades. He squeezed Bucky's side and started down, brushing kisses straight down the center of Bucky's back, nosing along the soft neglected skin just to keep breathing in the rich warm scent of him. 

Bucky huffed a shy laugh and pushed his face into the pillow. "I don't know. Not like I got a lot of experience," he mumbled. 

Steve hesitated before he kissed the small of Bucky's back. "Nothing Gretchen does you like?" he asked softly. 

"She's a good girl." 

Steve wondered how good she really was if Bucky was worried about her, but he let it go. Gretchen wasn't here and Steve wasn't _good_. He kissed the swell of Bucky's ass and palmed one cheek. "I got some ideas," he said. 

"There's the man with the plan." Bucky laughed. 

Steve just shook his head, kissing his way down, over the curve of Bucky's ass. "Stop me if you don't like it," he said, because he didn't think Bucky would just let him get away with whatever he wanted, but he wanted to be sure. He lifted a little so he could knead Bucky's ass with both hands and look down at him. 

Slowly, with thumbs, he parted his cheeks. 

Bucky shuddered. 

Steve held his breath. He'd waited for this, wanted this, for so long. Now he had it. And, oh, he could make it good. He could be a good memory for Bucky. 

He settled on his belly between Bucky's legs and massaged Bucky's ass, edging his fingers closer and closer to the hot center of him. He kissed and licked all over his ass and flanks and upper thighs, everything he could reach with his mouth. He ducked to flick his tongue over the back of his balls and licked up the thin soft skin behind them. He kept licking up, into the crevice of Bucky's ass, holding his cheeks apart, until he could swipe his tongue over his hole. 

Bucky gasped. He drew his knees closer to his body and arched his back. 

Encouraged, Steve pressed in. He licked all around, laved the hot wrinkled skin and listened to Bucky's choked off moans and stuttered gasps. Kisses came next, gentle and wet, and he covered his teeth with his lips and started to nibble. Bucky made a pitiful little sound and reached back to thread his fingers through Steve's hair. Steve started to lick again. Tiny, teasing licks all around the furled edge until Bucky began to relax, and then in the center. He backed off when Bucky stopped breathing, went back to kisses and nibbles. Bucky petted his hair and whimpered. Steve had never heard him so undone, so out of control. He held Bucky's ass open and he ate at him, licked until he could fuck him gently with the tip of his wet tongue. And he kept going, making all the happy sounds he wanted to make, just to prove to Bucky that there was nowhere he'd rather be. 

He kept at it, licking and kissing and fucking until Bucky shuddered and groaned. The rock of his hips took on a more desperate edge. 

"Steve," he panted. "God, Steve, I need--" 

Steve kissed Bucky's ass and kept going, up up up his spine until he was over him on all fours and the leaking head of his cock still trapped inside his underwear rubbed against the small of Bucky's back. He kissed Bucky's shoulder and pressed his nose to the nape of his neck. 

Bucky reached blindly until he could link his fingers with Steve's. 

Steve reached with his free hand and fumbled at the drawer in the nightstand until he got it open and found the petroleum jelly jar. 

"Roll over," he mumbled to Bucky, lips brushing the flushed skin of his neck. 

Bucky rolled to his back. Their cocks lined up and Bucky grabbed Steve's hips, pulled him down and thrust up so they rubbed together. 

He smiled a little, flush high on his cheeks and eyes bright. "Don't think I need that." 

Steve leaned in to kiss Bucky deep and filthy. "Not for you," he murmured. He sat up. 

Bucky gaped at him. 

Steve peeled off his briefs and dropped them off the side of the bed, then opened the jar of Vaseline and dipped his fingers in. With one hand braced in the bed next to Bucky's head, he lifted himself off of Bucky's thighs just enough to reach behind his balls. He shut his eyes, briefly, and bit the insides of his lips at the first sweet burn of one finger, then of two. He gasped and exhaled, rough and hot. Bucky's hands hovered in the hair beside his arms, and then slid from his elbows to his shoulders, up his neck. He pulled Steve down. 

He looked like he wanted to say something when Steve opened his eyes and looked. Bucky's mouth was open and his tongue was there. Steve leaned in a little and as he fucked himself open with two fingers, he nuzzled in for a kiss. Bucky obliged, mouth open, tongue soft and hot. 

As Steve broke the kiss--reluctantly; now that he knew what kissing Bucky really was, he never wanted to stop--he reached into the Vaseline one more time, then slicked up Bucky's dick. 

Bucky laughed, his back arching off the bed. He draped an arm over his face and that was when Steve realized the color in his face wasn't just the flush of arousal. 

"I don't know how long I'm gonna last," he said. 

Steve tilted his hips until he had the blunt head of Bucky's cock against his wet hole. "No one asked you to." He started to slide down. 

Bucky gripped his hips hard and his knees came up, his feet planted in the bed. He thrust up so quick Steve gasped. Steve rested one hand on Bucky's chest and pushed down, down, until he was full. 

They exhaled together. 

"Christ," Bucky said. He swallowed and looked at Steve, looked from his face to his cock and back, then shut his eyes and squeezed Steve's hips and licked his lips. "Christ. You gotta--" 

Steve moved. 

Slow at first, because he needed this to last. He needed to memorize the feel of Bucky inside him: the fullness, the long slow drag of skin on skin, the heat. It burned and ached in the best way. Steve used his thighs, rising and falling, one hand on Bucky's chest right over his heart and the other on the bed, fingers twisted in the coverlet. His cock ached, throbbed, _dripped_ each time he tipped his hips and found the right angle and Bucky's perfect cock hit a bundle of nerves that sent a sweet shock straight up his spine. His eyes rolled back in his head. He changed his mind. He wanted to be right here forever, damn the war, damn the Red Skull, damn Hitler. 

Bucky slid a hand up his side, up, up, to cup the back of his neck and pull him down. He wrapped his other fingers around Steve's cock and _pulled_. 

Steve stopped breathing. 

Bucky dragged him into a kiss. While Steve rode him, Bucky stroked him slow and steady. 

It lasted. Longer than he thought, longer than he expected, and if he hadn't been so hot and desperate he'd have been proud of Bucky. Bucky shook under him and his fingers dug hard into Steve's neck, but he held back as long as he could and Steve was the one who went off first. He came hard around Bucky's cock, spurting over Bucky's hand and making a mess of them both, and even though it burned and each thrust was a jolt to his oversensitive system, he kept moving until Bucky cried into his mouth. His fingers spasmed on Steve's hip. 

When Steve shifted his hips to let Bucky's softening cock slide out of him, he felt empty and adrift. He dropped to the bed beside Bucky and lay there on his side, eyes half-open so he could watch. Bucky was perfectly still except for the heaving of his chest and the frantic beat of his pulse in his neck. He seemed to be holding himself, both hands on his stomach. Steve reached for him. He slid an arm around his shoulders and pulled until Bucky was draped over his chest. 

They were a mess, both of them. He didn't care. He ran his clean hand through Bucky's hair and pulled him into a long kiss. He was shaking, he realized. Like he was in shock. 

Words stuck in his throat and on his tongue. He swallowed them back down and just kept kissing Bucky. He kissed him again and again until those words were gone, until the need to say them had passed. 

He pulled Bucky closer and let him press his face to his chest. He ran his hand up and down Bucky's back and closed his eyes. They'd crossed the line. Jumped over it, really, and were so far from it they couldn't even see it anymore. Whatever part of his heart he'd managed to hang on to was gone now. It was Bucky's.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky’s back and so are his memories and his feelings for Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Recognizable characters belong to their respective owners. No profit is earned and no infringement is intended.

Steve looked up when his bedroom door opened. Bucky was there, holding the towel at his hips, his hair still damp from the shower and little beads of water shining on his chest and arms. He looked unsure, as if he were uncertain he wouldn't be welcome. Steve's heart twisted. He set his book aside.

"Been a while since you resorted to this, Buck," he said. He hoped it sounded as teasing and affectionate as it was supposed to and not like his heart had broken a little.

Bucky blinked at him. A smile turned up one edge of his mouth. He still looked like he might run, but he also looked like he was _trying_.

That was more than Steve had even hoped for.

"You know how the Cube gave me back all my memories?"

"Yeah."

Bucky swallowed and seemed to steel himself, shoulders squared and fingers tight in the towel. Like whatever came next wasn't something he was sure about. He said, "There was this room in France..."

Steve's heart thumped wildly against his ribs and his breath rushed right out of his lungs. "Yeah," he said, and tried to smile even though it hurt. "Best part of the whole war."

Bucky looked down at his toes. "This ain't a brothel in France," he mumbled.

"No," Steve agreed, and he felt like he was soaring. "But I'm even better stocked."

It seemed like forever that Bucky stood there, staring at his feet until he raised his head, slowly, and looked at Steve. Just looked at him, considering. Steve sat there and let him look, let him think. Now that he had Bucky back, the last thing he wanted was to push too hard and scare him away.

When Bucky finally shuffled forward, Steve let out the breath he'd been holding.

Bucky dropped his towel at the side of the bed. Steve reached up to put his hand on Bucky's waist and had a moment of complete fear. What if this was a dream? What if it was just a fantasy? What if it was just some cruel virtual reality dreamed up by some villain and Steve didn't even know because it was the only thing he wanted? He'd die. He didn't care. As long as he got to keep Bucky, he didn't care.

With one knee on the bed, Bucky did hesitate. He frowned at Steve as if he wasn't sure what he was seeing.

It was kind of funny. Almost. If you had a sick sense of humor. Neither of them could really trust their senses.

"If you don't want this--" Bucky started.

It was so unlike the Bucky he'd always known that Steve's heart skipped a beat. He tightened his grip on his side and met his eyes. They'd never dealt in absolute language _before_ and Steve had had enough time to regret it since he'd woken up. He hadn't told Bucky in no uncertain terms how he felt, what he wanted. Living with that regret had been a unique torture. He didn't have to live with it anymore.

"I always want this," Steve said. "I always want _you_ , Buck, even when I thought I couldn't have you, even when I thought you were dead, even when you were gone. You're the only thing I ever really wanted in my whole life. I want whatever you want from me."

Bucky's smile was weak and watery. "What if all I want is to cuddle?"

"Then we'll cuddle." He could think of worse ways to spend a night.

Without Bucky was one of those ways and he'd had enough of that.

Bucky shook his head and climbed up on the bed-- _finally_ \--and he bent over Steve and put both hands in his hair. "I think you're going soft in your old age."

Steve set his hands on Bucky's warm waist. He slid his hands up and down his sides and couldn't take his eyes from Bucky's. "I've always been soft on you, Buck."

Bucky rolled his eyes, but it seemed to do the trick because he tipped Steve's face up and lowered his head.

The first touch of their lips was like turning on the light in a familiar room after a long absence. It set Steve's body alight and made him feel like he was exactly where he was supposed to be. Being with Bucky was more than good. It was _right_.

He pulled Bucky down into his lap. They kissed for a long, long time, shared breath and sliding tongues and the sweet wholesome give and take Steve had missed so much. He ran his hands up and down Bucky's back and sides, mapping the new topography of the body he'd never forgotten. When he reached down to grip his ass, he pulled him hard against him, just to feel the swell of Bucky's erection against his naked belly. He sighed into his mouth. He'd _missed_ this. God, he'd missed Bucky.

Bucky shivered. "Can you--"

Steve kissed his bottom lip, his chin, his neck. He rubbed up the center of his back and wrapped his arms around him and cradled him close. "I'll take care of you, Buck."

Quick as that, he had Bucky on his back in the center of his big bed. He missed the sunlight, because Bucky deserved to be loved in sunshine. He pushed up and knelt between Bucky's splayed legs, stayed there for a few long moments and just stared down at him. His skin was flushed, his eyes bright, his cock hard and curved against his hip. He was perfect. Oh, there were new things--the hair on his chest and on his belly, scars all over, muscles he hadn't had at at eighteen--but he was still _Bucky_ and he was here and he was real. He was better than any of Steve's memories.

Steve leaned down, put a hand in his hair, and kissed him again. He couldn't get enough. Might not ever. He kissed him as long as his breath held out just because he could, just because Bucky tipped his head back and met him, because it was _good_.

Then he moved down.

That day in the brothel was one of the memories he relived whenever he could. He remembered everything about it in vivid detail because it had been the best day of his life: a day spent wrapped up in the person he loved the most, a day spent showing Bucky just how much he loved him and how desperately he wanted him. He'd worried that night that he'd feel guilty, or that things between them would change and wouldn't be right anymore, but he'd been wrong to worry. They'd been closer and stronger and just... _better_.

This could be the same.

Bucky was alive and warm and wanting beneath him. He tasted better than he remembered. Steve worked his way down Bucky's neck and across his chest, rubbing his face in the scattering of dark hair there, lingering at his nipples. When Bucky didn't stop him, Steve sealed his lips around one and sucked. Bucky rubbed his hand over Steve's hair and across his shoulders and he held his breath. Steve felt the twitch of Bucky's cock against his belly, so he kept it up, one nipple and then the other, until Bucky's back arched and he pulled at Steve's hair and made a sound that was more frustrated than pleased. Steve continued down.

Bucky was newly sensitive along the edge of his ribcage. He laughed a little, almost self-conscious, when Steve licked there. When he sucked a dark mark over his hip, Bucky made a low strangled noise and pulled at his hair. Steve nuzzled the trail of hair beneath Bucky's navel and moved down, slow, until he could kiss the base of Bucky's cock. He remembered this smell. This flavor. It had been so long he felt the threat of tears in his eyes and the scratch in his throat. He shut his eyes tight and opened his mouth to suck at the head of Bucky's pretty dick.

Bucky gasped. He twisted his fingers in Steve's hair and went very still.

Steve sucked and bobbed, working up a steady rhythm and a lot of spit, making it wet and messy and glorious. He ran his hands all over Bucky's thighs, down to his knees and over his hips. He even scratched at Bucky's belly, palmed his flanks. He cupped Bucky's balls gently, tugged and rolled, stroked his thumb down the seam of his sac and rubbed his knuckles against the soft hot skin just behind. He listened to all the noises Bucky made, the soft little moans and the shuddering sighs and the tiny whimpers.

Steve rubbed the tip of his finger and then the point of his knuckle over Bucky's hole. He pulled off of his cock, sucking hard, lingering at the head to run the tip of his tongue all around it, especially at the underside and against the leaking slit. Bucky moaned and his back arched at that. Steve had almost forgotten how sensitive he was there. He kissed down Bucky's cock, wet noisy kisses, until he could lick all over his sac, suck each tight ball into his mouth. He eased Bucky's thighs apart wide.

There was nothing like having Bucky laid out for him.

Bucky was shaking.

Steve wrapped a hand around Bucky's cock and stroked slowly, in time with each flick of his tongue all around the furled hot skin of his hole. He licked over and around, sucked and nibbled, and when Bucky planted his feet in the bed and pushed his hips up, Steve let go of his cock to slide both hands under his ass, hold him there and hold him open. His nose pressed against the hot skin behind Bucky's balls and all of his senses were full of _Bucky_ , the taste and smell of him, the feel and sound of him, and when Steve tipped his head and opened his eyes, he had the sight of Bucky, head back, hand wrapped around his cock, panting and heaving as he jerked himself off.

Steve's asshole clenched and he was hot all over. His dick pressed against the bed inside his sweats, impossibly hard and leaking. He wanted-- _God_ , did he _want_ \--to ride Bucky until they both came. But this was more important. He closed his eyes and threw himself into it, into licking Bucky out, getting him loose and spit-slick, until he was writhing and making small, needy sounds.

"Steve, I'm gonna--"

Steve moaned. "Yeah." He thrust his tongue into him.

Bucky tensed and came, shaking, his ragged little moans muffled behind his hand.Steve felt the spasm around his tongue, felt the crawling muscles against his cheeks. He kept licking, at his hole and at his skin, kneading Bucky's ass in his big hands. When Bucky pulled at his hair, Steve let himself be brought up.

Slowly. So he could lick over his balls and up the length of his softening cock. He lowered Bucky's thighs back to the bed and he licked and sucked and kissed his way up Bucky's body, cleaning him up.

He even kissed his way up the seam connecting flesh and metal. Bucky put his arms around him then and hauled him close.

Bucky kissed him like he wanted to take what Steve had. Steve let him, mouth open, sharing, wet and messy, a tangle of hot tongues and shared breaths. It wasn't until Bucky's heart had stopped pounding and he'd stopped shaking like he might fall apart that he slid a hand down Steve's back and gripped his ass, grinding their hips together and catching Steve's cock between them.

"Your turn?"

He was so hard it hurt and he was a little dizzy, but it didn't _matter_. Bucky looked so good, sated and sleepy, and all Steve really wanted was to hold him. He shook his head and rolled to his back, bringing Bucky with him to drape him over his chest. He put fingers in Bucky's messy hair and kissed his cheek, the bridge of his nose.

"Just let me hold you for a while."

Bucky made a face. "Still ain't a girl, Steve."

"Don't have to be for this, Buck." He breathed out slowly, a little shy, but he'd be damned if he didn't tell Bucky the truth now. "I missed you. Just let me hold you."

Bucky laid his head on the front of Steve's shoulder. He slid a hand down the front of Steve's body, fingers playing over the flat planes of muscle in his belly, until he could tuck those fingers into the top of his sweats. He scratched at the nest of curls at the base of Steve's dick. "What, are you gonna tell me you love me now?" He snorted.

Steve brushed his fingers through Bucky's hair. "I do."

Bucky froze, then raised his head. "What?"

"I love you." He shrugged. He wanted to look away but that seemed cowardly, so he kept his eyes locked to Bucky's. "I should have said it back then."

Bucky blinked at him. He lowered his head back to Steve's shoulder and didn't say anything for a while.

Steve kept touching him because he could, because Bucky was alive and in his arms, in his bed. He shut his eyes. He'd spent a long time thinking about the things he should have said, the things he'd always wished he said. Now Bucky was here, and he could say them, and the lump in his throat was hardly much of an obstacle.

"Always did," he started quietly. "From when you were sixteen and you were the only one treating me like a regular guy and not some doof or some comic book hero. Loved you when you were covered in blood and when you were cheating the guys out of their candy bars and cigarettes--"

"I never cheated," Bucky grunted.

Steve rubbed at the back of Bucky's neck. "Sure you didn't."

Bucky scowled, and Steve could hear it in his voice. "Why didn't you ever say it before?"

"Because I'm an idiot."

"That's true."

Steve chuckled. "I should have," he said. "I guess I was just afraid."

"That's stupid."

He shrugged again. He had a lot of regrets. But he could see now that many of them were because he was too stupidly stubborn.

"I love you, too, you know."

Steve smiled. "I guessed."

Bucky pinched him hard in the side. "Ass." He draped himself more comfortably against Steve and added, voice low, "This isn't so bad."

"No, Buck. It's perfect." Steve turned his face into Bucky's hair and breathed him in. "Thank you for coming back to me."


End file.
